How To Find What You Came Here For

Welcome to the worlds that populate my brain!
The short stories you find here are the product
of a vastly overactive imagination
powered by coffee and M&Ms.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hope

This is a continuation of an earlier post - Side-By-Side - you may want to read that post first if you haven't read it before, or if you'd like to refresh your memory of Sara and Abraham.





                The house was quiet, but not peaceful.  Abraham felt the static of tightly wound nerves running over his skin and twisting his stomach.  He looked across the living room to where Sara was reading a book - or more accurately, a page.  He hadn't heard her flip to a new one in a while.  He took a breath and tried to settle his stomach, but the knots remained.

                "Incoming!"  The loud ring tone from his cell phone startled both of them.  He looked at the number displayed and looked back up at Sara.  He didn't have to tell her who it was.

                He took a deep breath, hoping his voice wouldn’t betray his nerves, "Hello?"

                 "Hi Abraham!  We're on our way over!"  The cheerful voice of Angela, their caseworker, bounced through the phone.

                "Great, we’ll be waiting.  Do we need to do anything else?"

                "Not a thing!  We've got everything taken care of.  I'll see you in a bit, OK?"

                "OK.  See you in a bit," he murmured, and hit the button to disconnect the call.  "Sara, they're on the way.  Are you ready?"

                She took a deep breath and put her book down.  "Just let me check the room."

                Abraham followed his wife down the short hall to what had been a guestroom for most of their marriage.  The smell of fresh paint wasn't as strong as it had been, but it was still noticeable.  Sara had agonized over the colors for months - pastels or primary?  The furniture hadn't been any easier.  There were so many styles to choose from that in the end they'd decided that simple and sturdy would probably be best.

                She walked through the room, fussing with the bedding and making sure everything was in its place.  There were no clothes in the dresser or the closet yet - Angela had suggested they wait on the more personal things.

                Finally, when there was nothing left to straighten or fix, Sara turned to Abraham.  "I'm scared, Abe."

                He sighed and felt his stomach unknot at her admission.  A quick step forward and she was in his arms, her head tucked under his chin and arms wrapped tight around his narrow waist.  "So am I, hon."

                It had been a year – a year full of classes and counseling.  A year trying to come to terms with the death of their dream.  There would be no delighted phone call to report a positive test.  There would be no need to measure the gently expanding bump that signaled new life, or buy clothes that only served one purpose.  It had taken more strength and courage than either of them had known they had, to walk away from that dream and build a new one.

They held each other a few minutes longer, until he leaned back far enough to look into her face.  "Are you ready?"

                She smiled and rubbed her cheeks, wet with tears, on his shirt.  "Absolutely!"

                They walked down the hallway side-by-side, holding hands.  The doorbell rang and they looked at each other, reading anxiety and hope on each other's faces.  Abraham reached out and swung the door open.

                "Well hi!" Angela bubbled, but Sara and Abraham didn't notice.  All their attention was focused on the other person on the porch.  Understanding, Angela smiled and turned to the thin nine-year-old next to her, "Isabelle, are you ready?"

                Isabelle drew a deep breath and wished the butterflies in her stomach would calm down.  She looked from one smiling face to the other and felt the unfamiliar fluttering of hope join the butterflies.  

"Absolutely!"



This post is a response to this week's prompt from The Red Dress Club - our assignment was to write a happy ending.  I decided that I wanted Sara and Abraham to have a happy ending, but I felt that they deserved more than one of those, "and all their dreams came true " endings.  Thanks for stopping in - I appreciate your comments and critiques!

9 comments:

  1. You sounded anxious to post, so I was anxious to read. This was beautiful. Most of my comments are in the lines (which I am really loving) A wonderful piece!

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  2. Thanks Writerly! It was fun going back to a piece I liked writing - and challenging to pick up the voice again.

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  3. I love the inline comment thing!! So neat!! I also totally enjoyed the story. This is a great ending, a great feel good ending. There's more to the story too if you should ever choose to pick up and write more.

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  4. Tried to use the inline commenting, but it didn't work for me. I will come back to try it again with your next post. I really like what you're doing here. I was expecting an infant, so was surprised by the girl. This offered a nice twist. I noticed that both Sara and the girl used the term absolutely. Is this to show that they're on the same wavelength? To show that this will work out? I think you paint such a good scene that you don't need to explain. Your picture does the explaining: Example A and S are staring not at Angela but at the child. You use the word understanding before telling us that Angela turned to I. I think you can eliminate that word, as by her actions, you so well show us that she understands.

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  5. Without reading your previous post with these characters I first read this and thought that it was a nice read. Then after going back and reading their original story I came back to this one and was able to connect with them more. I did like how Isabelle was not an infant, nor a boy.

    Thanks for sharing. :) I'm really enjoying reading all these tonight!

    Vikki

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  6. @ Drama - I'm really liking the in-line too! I'm pretty sure Sara, Abraham, and Isabella have more story, I'll have to see if anything clicks down the road.

    @ Kelly - The in-line can be tricky. It occurred to me to wonder if blocking pop-ups might affect being able to use it. I repeated a couple of the same phrases - are you ready, and absolutely. Normally I work really hard to avoid that, but in this case I wanted the repetition to show everything lining up or coming together...impending unity. Understanding probably is redundant - too many words is my constant challenge, that's why I love the fact that the prompts come with word limits! Thanks for the crit!

    @ Vikki - Thank you! Sara and Abraham are two of my favorite characters so far!

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  7. Really interesting story! I definitely didn't expect a nine year-old. Well done!

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  8. Aw, I hope they make it together. I loved this line: 'It had taken more strength and courage than either of them had known they had, to walk away from that dream and build a new one.' I love how you've weaved different pieces into a complete tale, your characters and situations are so real and genuine. :)

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