Ember ran, breath catching in her throat. A sense of urgency drove her through the woods, but caution kept her flying feet light on leaves and branches.
“Let the stars lead you, Ember.” Her father’s voice sounded in her ear, as if he were running with her. “The Phoenix guards and guides our family; she will never lead you astray.”
I’m trying, Father, she thought. I only wish I knew where she was leading me.
The sound of a less-cautious foot snapping a branch nearby froze her steps. Ember held her breath to see if it would be repeated.
More sounds penetrated the dense forest around her, and she knew she was surrounded. There was no telling if the men closing in knew where she was, or if they’d simply managed to blunder into position. It didn’t matter—she was trapped either way.
“Oy!” Ember whipped her head around to stare at the man who’d called out, alerting the rest of the hunters. He stood a careful distance away; in seconds he was joined by a loose ring of men bearing the torches of their purpose.
Her calm gaze met each of theirs, but their resolve did not waiver. The drought had been severe, and most of the crops were lost. Action had to be taken—that’s what the pompous elder had told them, and that’s what they believed.
The red speck in her left eye, the Devil’s eye, had marked her. Her sacrifice would be their salvation.
“What right have you, to chase me like an animal? Dare not believe that evil done here will not be witnessed.” Her voice rang with an authority they didn’t expect from a girl so young. They glanced to each other, and for the briefest moment, hope fired in her soul.
“Burn the witch!”
The rallying cry extinguished that fragile flame, and she pressed her slender shoulders against the reassuring strength of the oak. She felt the wavering heat of the advancing torches; as her long auburn hair began to curl and smoke, she raised her eyes to the brightest star in the Phoenix constellation.
When she closed her eyes and bowed her head, the men pressed closer, enflamed by her passive acceptance.
The first torch pressed to her arm.
Ember’s head snapped up, the heat lifting her singed hair to fly wildly around her. Too late, the men saw the fire rise in her eyes and flames dance along her skin as she stepped away from the tree.
Even generations later, the tale of the Phoenix ensured that no naked flame ever entered the dark of the forest. The Phoenix Ring, they called it.
Stones formed like men, circling a broad oak. They looked to have been shaped by a monstrous heat, their faces twisted as if in unimaginable pain, and yet the tree they surrounded was unmarked by fire.
This post is my response to a prompt from Write On Edge to write about either the Phoenix (legendary firebird), or the Phoenix (the constellation). I decided to combine them. I hope you enjoyed Ember's story - please take a minute to leave a comment to tell me what you think!
Ooh! I do like how you combined them. And you packed a lot into just 450 words!ReplyDelete
And it is late, and the link page still isn't up, but I will still give you this extremely valuable piece of constructive criticism:
When watching Doctor Who with the subtitles turned on, "Oy" is always spelled "Oi." I do not know if the different spellings convey subtly different meanings. Maybe it's a Welsh thing...
LOL I went back and forth on that! It's split fifty/fifty, which is really irritating! Why can't the English language get it's stuff together?Delete
I like Oy. Oi to me is too French-like. Maybe it's a question of potato, potatoe?ReplyDelete
Like the premise, The story unfolded extremely driven. Well done!
Wow, excellent. I was moved along with the action, and what a great end to the myth.ReplyDelete
Very nice! I love the multiple connections to both definitions of phoenix as well as the fire theme. This was an awesome piece.ReplyDelete
Very cool. I could easily picture ember running through the woods and the men approaching. I loved the sounds and smells conjured as her body began to burn.ReplyDelete
Very well crafted.ReplyDelete
Fantastic. I was right there with her, scared and brave in the darkness. I especially love the part where her legend ensures that no naked flame enters the forest ever again. It reminded me of the menace of Fangorn Forest towards axe-bearing intruders in The Lord of the Rings. :)ReplyDelete
If they make a movie, they should get Drew Barrymore for Ember.ReplyDelete
The built tension and suspense definitely make me want more.
I enjoyed how you combined them. this is such an interesting story, fast paced, with a great start. You hooked me quickly and left me gasping in awe. Wonderful writing.ReplyDelete
Oh, very nice. It seems so appropriate, too, in this very dry year.ReplyDelete
I'm so happy they got what was coming to them! Love this take on a witch hunt, and both versions of the phoenix! It really captured a big change in her, from hunted, to being a commanding presence, to what I'm sure would have been a terrifying figure of flame and wrath.ReplyDelete