That’s it, we’re done.
No more chances,
No more glances,
We’ve had our fun.
We started hot,
But now we’re not.
Turned us into liars,
Neither thinking we’d be caught.
Good-bye my lover,
No need to hover.
Let’s both be on our way,
Nothing more to say,
We’ve no secrets left to discover.
I’ll think of you fondly,
I could say,
But that would be a lie.
Rather I’ll note,
That as regrets go,
You’re fairly far down the line.
This post is a response to a writing prompt from Write On Edge: "This week, we’d like you to write a post – fiction or creative non-fiction – which begins with a countdown. “Three, two, one.” You pick what the countdown is for. The ideas above are just suggestions. Use your imagination and have fun with it!"
In this poem I was aiming for a sense of cold dismissal at the end of a relationship between two people, neither of whom have behaved particularly well. What were your impressions? Let me know in the comments!
Poetry is an interesting side tack for you...
I like the poetic adios. No hard feelings...heck, no remaining feelings at all. Nice!ReplyDelete
I love it when a prompt inspires poetry! I like the contrast here between the jaunty rhythm and meter and the dark subject matter. Well done.ReplyDelete
Nice, I like it. :)ReplyDelete
HonestConvoGal completely stole my point ;P. I agree with her that the contrast between a jaunty meter and a dark subject matter makes for a captivating piece.ReplyDelete
I love it!! No hard feelings... seems it was that way for both parties!ReplyDelete
This was brillantly done--I could even hear the tone, as if this was spoken aloud.ReplyDelete
I love your take on the prompt. The poem is awesome.ReplyDelete
I think you did exactly what you set out to do! And I'm always a fan of a good rhyming scheme. ;-) Great stuff!ReplyDelete
I really enjoyed it. It definitely works as a "cold" good bye where the feelings have evaporatedReplyDelete
I like it -- especially after I read it out loud and gave it the right tone of voice...ReplyDelete
Ha! That's awesome.ReplyDelete
I would hate to be on the end of such a missive, but I like the detached, yet structured format.
I love poems. Especially when it's a "ta-ta loser" feel to it! Good take on the prompt. I enjoyed the rhythm to this!ReplyDelete
A big thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment! Now I'm feeling bad that I haven't had a chance to read any other posts...so I'm off to read and comment! See you there!ReplyDelete